Progressive. Inclusive. Diverse.

Policy on Celebrations of the Covenant Union of Two People

Adopted by Session, September 2005

I. Statement from the Pastor on Services of Celebration of Marriage or Holy Union

When we gather at Clarendon Presbyterian Church to celebrate the faith, hope, love and commitment of two individuals to build a common life together, we gather to worship and honor God and to celebrate the wondrous diversity of God's good creation.

We gather in the presence of God to witness the joining together of two individuals, to surround them with our love and with our prayers, and to ask God’s blessing upon them that they may be strengthened for their lives together. The union that we celebrate is a gift from the heart of God so that two people may help and comfort one another, living faithfully together in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, throughout all their days.

God graces us with this gift for the full _expression of love between two people, who belong to each other, and with affection and tenderness freely give themselves to one another. God graces us with this gift for the well-being of society, for the ordering of family life, and for the nurture of children.

God graces us with this gift as a holy mystery, in which two become one just as Christ is one with the church. In holy union, whether honored by the state in marriage or not, the beloved are called to a new way of life, created, ordered and bless by God. This way of life must not be entered into carelessly, or from selfish motives, but responsibly and prayerfully.

We rejoice, then, in this gift, and insist that is shall be honored by all.

Our Commitment to Nondiscrimination

Clarendon Presbyterian Church, a progressive, inclusive and diverse community of faith, seeks to honor each individual as a beloved child of God, understanding that God loves each of us without regard to race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religious belief or any of the numerous other distinctions that human beings use to distinguish one from another. Such distinctions are too often used as the foundation for discrimination against members of groups without power within given cultures. Too often, the church has been complicit in such injustice.

In our time, gay, lesbian, transgendered and bisexual individuals face painful discrimination in the culture and within the church. Civil laws governing the rights to marriage and to other forms of life partnership are overwhelmingly discriminatory against gay, lesbian, transgendered and bisexual couples. Whatever the symbolic meaning of marriage, the real legal aspects are crucially important and same-sex couples face daily discrimination related to taxes, wills, property ownership, rights of next-of-kin, Social Security and others. This is particularly, painfully true in the Commonwealth of Virginia today.

Therefore, responding to God’s call to do justice, to the command of Jesus the Christ that we love one another as he loves us, and to the Presbyterian Book of Order statement that “The Biblical vision of doing justice calls for: ... supporting people who seek the dignity, freedom, and respect that they have been denied; ... redressing wrongs against individuals, groups and peoples in the Church, in this nation, and in the whole world” (W-7.4002), the pastor of Clarendon Presbyterian Church will not participate as an agent of the state authorized to pronounce legal marriages.

Much of the present discrimination against sexual minorities in our culture focuses on the rights of same-sex couples to enter into committed life relationships that will have standing in civil courts. The church understands this legal aspect of marriage, and defines marriage, in part, in the Book of Order as a “civil contract between a woman and a man. For Christians marriage is a covenant through which a man and a woman are called to faithfully live out together before God their lives of discipleship. In a service of Christian marriage a lifelong commitment is made by a woman and a man to each other, publicly witnessed and acknowledged by the community of faith” (W-4.9001).

We honor the lifelong commitments made by men and women in this community, and we celebrate them. We will continue to celebrate heterosexual marriages and same-gender holy unions in the sanctuary at Clarendon, but we will ask heterosexual partners first to have their legal marriage vows witnessed by a duly authorized agent of the state and their marriage licenses signed by such an agent. We acknowledge that this adds a slight cost and an additional burden on couples. To lessen this impact, we will decrease the fees charged for marriages by an amount commensurate with additional fees (presently $30), and we will provide as much guidance as possible through the Arlington County court process.

II. Same-sex Holy Unions/Convenantal Ceremonies

For same-gender couples, the Commonwealth of Virginia not only refuses to issue marriage licenses or to recognize equivalent legal rights or obligations but is seeking to write such discrimination into its constitution. While some same-gender couples create legal policy statements- 'domestic partnership agreements', wills, powers of attorney, guardianship, etc.,- to duplicate some of the benefits of legal marriage, the Commonwealth has acted to make such agreements null and void. Some benefits accorded to married couples, e.g. Social Security benefits, income tax, and child custody, can be granted only by state and federal laws and licenses. Therefore, it remains impossible to speak of “marriage” for same gender couples.

Beyond the civil situation, most Christian communities currently deny same gender couples the opportunity to acknowledge their faithfulness to one another and to celebrate the joining of their lives and spirits within the church. This was not always the case. Research into early Christian church liturgies by the late Yale University historian John E. Boswell found Catholic and Orthodox liturgies for same-sex unions. These ceremonies were performed throughout Christendom into modern times.

The Presbyterian Church’s constitution, the Book of Order, says "The Christian community provides nurture for its members through all of life and life's transitions. ... The church offers nurture to people assuming responsibilities in the world, assisting them: ... with making wise commitments in personal relationships and marriage." (W-6.2000-2002) "The Church recognizes transitions which bring joy and sorrow in human life: ... households are established, move to new locations, gain and lose members; people are empowered, restored, make new commitments." (W-6.3010) The Book of Order provides that the worship service is appropriate when people "make and renew covenants". (W-2.6001[e.1]) Therefore, it is consistent with the Book of Order to bless and celebrate same sex covenants with ceremonies in the church.

III. Requirements for Celebrations of Marriage or Holy Union at Clarendon

Participation in the Life of the Community: Ordinarily the pastor of Clarendon Presbyterian Church shall be the worship leader at all services of celebration of marriage or of holy union. When you ask the pastor of this church to conduct such a service, you are not asking him/her to legitimize your status in society, but rather that God may bless your relationship. In requesting that the ceremony be performed in the church you are asking for a worship service at the same time. Participating in such a service demonstrates that you have a vital faith in God and a sincere desire to understand and live up to the meaning of a committed relationship as described in the statement above. We ask couples who are not members of this congregation to worship with us on Sunday morning at least four times before entering into conversations about the process of holding a service of celebration here.

Pre-celebration counseling: Ordinarily a couple preparing to enter marriage or holy union, and planning to celebrate that in a service of worship at CPC shall participate in at least four counseling sessions with the pastor.

License: Heterosexual couples are responsible for obtaining a valid marriage license for Arlington County, for having their civil marriage vows witnessed and the license signed by a duly authorized agent of the Commonwealth of Virginia.

Music: It is expected that the organist of this church, Ms. Amy Williams, will play at all weddings unless she is unable to do so. If you would like another musician to play, this may be arranged with the permission of the pastor and the organist. If special music is required, or if soloists must be rehearsed, the organist should be compensated accordingly. It is the responsibility of the couple to arrange for and compensate all musicians.

Decorations: The couple is responsible for all decorations, which may be festive, but should not be so lavish as to be distracting. Care should be taken so that no damage is done to the building or furnishings with nails, wires, or wax. The use of aisle runners is discouraged.

Arrangements must be made in advance for the delivery of flowers or other decorations, and for the removal of decorations.

General Procedures:

Pictures: Flash pictures are prohibited during the ceremony. Available light photographs and videotaping are permitted, provided the cameraman remains unobtrusive.

Parlor: A parlor is available for the use of the bridal party before the wedding, for dressing and last-minute preparations, at no additional charge.

Receptions: A reception may be held in the church building. The couple is responsible for all arrangements, including cleanup. No alcoholic beverages may be served without the prior written consent of the Session.

Alcohol: It is expected that all members of the wedding party will refrain from the use of alcohol or other drugs immediately prior to the rehearsal and the wedding.

Smoking: Smoking is not permitted inside the building.

No rice, confetti, bird seed, etc., may be thrown inside the building.

Fees: Payable at the rehearsal

	Members	Non-Members
Use of Sanctuary:	n. c.	$200
Use of Wilson Hall	n. c.	$200
Pastor	n. c.	$300
Organist	$100	$100-$250*
Janitorial Services	$75**	$75**

*Lower fee represents a wedding with limited musical requirements. Requests for special music, or work with a soloist or other musician should be compensated accordingly.

**If needed.

Checks for the use of the building and janitorial services should be made out to Clarendon Presbyterian Church.

Checks for the musician and for the pastor should be made out to them personally.